![]() ![]() USED HONDA CIVIC IN "GREAT" CONDITION: Jonathan Franzen/ Rick Moody/David Foster Wallaceįrequently cited in comments sections of blogs with 2,000–4,000 unique visitors a day as "Great American Novelists," or sometimes "the greatest writer ever that is still alive and American." Published novels at first, then got distracted and published nonfiction books, story collections, essay collections, and other things that made them less powerful. Too godless and without rhetoric to win a major award or be satisfactorily written about by the important literary critics of our time. Do not make enough money from their books to not have teaching jobs. Occasionally mentioned by Used Honda Civics in "Great" Condition (see below) to prove a generalization wrong. PONY ON A PONY FARM OF A CHILD OF A BILLIONAIRE: Joy Williams/Mary Robison/Frederick Barthelme/Ann BeattieĬonsidered "important" and "serious" by most critics, writers, and journalists, but are held back from further greatness by an inability to make grand pronouncements using sociological, political, or psychological terms in an earnest tone that conveys "I am very smart and this is my serious literature." Held back also because they sometimes publish in smaller magazines, some of which don't even contain advertisements from Knopf or American Airlines because some of their e-mail addresses can be found on the internet and because they would never consider writing from the perspective of someone in a terrible event that they did not experience. Secretly considered "unseemly in a wholesome way somehow" by serious literary critics "I don't know, is it okay to read these people?" by MFA students at Iowa Writers' Workshop and "I really, really want to stay away from those people and their books" by people who like Thomas Pynchon a lot. Will never be written about in Review of Contemporary Fiction. Make enough money to not have blogs, MySpace pages, or their e-mail addresses on the internet. ![]() Have won the Pulitzer Prize and other major awards but are thought of by most critics, writers, and journalists to be primarily romance authors or perhaps "self-help" authors, partly because all their books are bestsellers but mostly because they are women who write about human relationships and are not from a foreign country. $9.98 PETCO GERBIL: Anne Tyler/Carol Shields/Jane Smiley ![]()
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